


Security Blanket

by violinbythefire



Series: Tumblr Prompts [3]
Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Hypochondria, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pining, Sexuality Crisis, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violinbythefire/pseuds/violinbythefire
Summary: "No one else will love you like I love you"





	Security Blanket

Eddie always joked that he had enough psychological problems that he could send whatever therapist he met into an early retirement.

And by ‘joked’, Eddie meant that he thought this to himself as he locked himself into his bathroom during a panic attack. 

Eddie, who was in his thirties and too damn old for this shit, would reach into his pants pocket for an inhaler that had not been there in years. Psychosomatic, that’s what Google kindly called the phenomenon when Eddie got the courage to research his hosts of problems. The Internet was truly a wonderful invention. He learned all sorts of long words as he went down the rabbit hole that was the trauma of his childhood. 

It was almost reassuring to know that he was fucked from the beginning even if he did not encounter It. Munchausen by proxy. He thought having a label for what his mother was going through would be reassuring. It was. Anxiety, post traumatic stress, somatization. That explained a lot. What it did not explain was Myra.

At first, Eddie was honestly trying to get over Richie. When he was old enough to articulate his crush, he had smothered it deep into the pit of his stomach. He did not know anyone in Derry who was in a relationship with another man. He did not even know that it was possible that he could like both boys and girls. He had no idea what to do or say. So he let the friendship continue as normal. Richie left for California and Eddie left for New York.

So the second that he had an actual chance with a female, he took it.

Myra was very lovely when she was young. She was a big girl, but Eddie did not mind. In fact, he felt almost at home when he nuzzled into her soft body after sex. It made him think of his mother. 

How fucked up was that? He did not even bother to search on that shit. He didn’t want to know what label of psycho that qualified him as. 

‘No one else will love you like I love you’, Myra told him. He hoped so. He was not sure if he could go through his mother and Myra in the same lifespan.

They were in a relationship for quite a number of years. Eddie knew that Myra was impatiently waiting for him to ask her to marry him. After stalling her for a rather long time, he and Myra moved in together. Eddie had thought at the time that it was a good compromise and that he did not have to chain himself to anyone. 

Myra had decorated their home with little input from Eddie. He did not mind because he could care less what his house looked like as long as it was not gaudy. Myra ran the household, keeping it immaculately clean and making sure a warm meal waited for Eddie no matter what time he got home. She laid out his clothes for him to wear, each article of clothing ironed and pressed. When he came down with the flu after two weeks of moving in, Myra nursed him every step of the way. In his delirious state, he had never been happier. He did not realize what he had been missing since the day he stood up to his mother. As much as he did not care for the whole ‘being manipulated by the person that gave birth to you ‘ deal, he did like everything else. He missed being fretted over. He missed being taken care of. 

Would Richie do any of that shit? Fuck no. If he was in this situation with Richie, he would probably tell Eddie to ‘suck it up’. Maybe that’s what Eddie needed. But he did not want it.

After a month of living together, he married Myra.

Eddie was not sure if he really loved her. After all, he had nothing to compare it to. He had this crazy infatuation with one of his childhood best friends. But they had not seen each other in years. What were the chances of it actually working? He was safe with Myra. She served a purpose. He was sure that he served a purpose for her as well. His business had become successful enough that she could quit her job. Other than keeping the house spotless, Myra had little to do with her day other than watch reality television or read Harlequin romance novels. In truth, Eddie liked that. He liked seeing that. It reminded him of his childhood, but it was not identical. He had his safety. He did not say anything when Myra put on an additional fifty pounds during their five year marriage or when she practically controlled his schedule. Because he knew that if he were to say anything about it, he could only say that he liked it. And that was ‘transference’ and Eddie did not want to admit it.

Eddie had long stopped googling things.

It was a typical night. They had sex every Tuesday and Friday, unless Dancing with the Stars was on, then it was Wednesday and Friday. In this instance, it was Tuesday. Eddie was currently buried between Myra’s breasts, spent from the only physical activity he indulged in. Thank God for his metabolism. He could hear the buzzing from the phone he left charging on the end table, but he could not bring himself to care. Who was calling this late anyway? 

“Do you need to get that?” Myra’s raspy voice asked. She was stroking his hair, easing him into a state of relaxation. 

“No,” He answered, sighing in relief when the vibration stopped. If it was a work emergency, they would have called him on his work phone, not his private phone. And there was no one he knew socially that he was willing to get out of bed to answer the phone for.

The vibration started again. 

Myra was the one who reached over and pulled the cell phone off the charger. She looked at the phone screen and frowned, “Do you know anyone in Beverly Hills?”

Something inside him said that he should, but Eddie shook his head. He reluctantly moved off Myra’s body, lying next to her. 

Myra answered his phone. It was not unusual. She probably went through his phone more than even he did. “Hello?” She frowned before saying, “Yes, this is Eddie Kaspbrak’s number…” She glanced over at Eddie and frowned, “Well, he can’t talk right now…” She lowered the phone, but did not hang up. “Do you know anyone named Richie-“

And like that, Eddie all but lunged over Myra’s body to snatch the phone out of her hand. His heart was beating out of his chest as he scrambled to put the phone to his ear, “Hello?” He tried to ignore the stilted tone of his voice. This couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be.

“Hey, Eds…”

Eddie was not sure if he was going to faint or start laughing hysterically. After all these years, they found each other again. And yet, “How did you get this number?” was the only thing that he could muster out. He wanted to hit his head on the table. That was not how he wanted to start off this conversation. At this point, Myra was looking at him inquisitively. There was no doubt she was curious about who Richie was and why Eddie took the phone from her to answer it.

“Dude, I got my ways. But forget that. Who’s the chick? She sounds hot. Are you banging her?”

Eddie did manage to let out an uneasy laugh at that. That was Richie. He was so happy his friend had not changed. “Um…yeah, that’s Myra. That’s my wife,” He explained.

There was a subtle silence before Richie all but yelled into the phone, “Wife! Eds! Congrats on getting that regular ass. I didn’t know you had it in you.” 

Eddie chuckled, the tension leaving his body even though Myra had started glaring at him, “It’s great…it’s really great to hear from you, Richie, but why did you call? It’s pretty late.”

Another silence. Richie finally spoke, sounding annoyed, “Christ, I wanted to have like two minutes to talk to catch up before I deliver the bad news.”

“What bad news?” Eddie asked, bewildered. What bad news? They haven’t spoken in twenty years. 

“I just got off the phone with Mike. It’s back.” 

Eddie did not remember dropping the phone on the bed. He did not realize that all the blood drained from his face. He did not hear Myra calling his name. He remembered nothing when he fainted.


End file.
